Dolph Lundgren deserves better than "The Expendables."
Not that there's anything wrong with a film that spotlights exploding heads and severed torsos; when it's your time, it's your time. But Lundgren, charismatic Jason Statham and the dependably over-the-top Eric Roberts are the only members of this Sylvester Stallone vanity project who put much pop in the proceedings.
Even the presence of such macho men as Jet Li, Mickey Rourke, former WWF champ Steve Austin, former UFC champ Randy Couture, Stallone and B-movie stalwart Terry Crews adds little to the familiar one-last-mission scenario.
Granted, Rourke makes the most of his brief soliloquy, Stallone's cursory tip of the beret to emotional depth: As a former mercenary whose tattoo parlor serves as headquarters for the title characters, Rourke summons up the weariness simmering in the rest -- the emotional Lundgren being an exception -- and brings it all home with the line, "I'm dead inside."
Stallone, who wrote and directed the picture and gave himself the lead, may consider the "dead inside" business its theme, as two other characters voice the same sentiment later on. Perhaps he's trying out the Oliver Stone technique of bludgeoning home a point. Except that "The Expendables" doesn't seem to have one.
That's not unusual in action movies but the lack of personality is.
Ever earnest and monosyllabic, Stallone often appears unenthused as Barney Ross,
eader of the Expendables (the name's on their motorcycles; an early scene brings to mind "Wild Hogs"). He gives himself many close-ups, so it's hard to miss the off-and-on grimaces.
Except for Statham, Lundgren and Roberts, as the villain, Stallone's co-stars serve primarily as window dressing until individual scenes where they show off their fighting skills.
As for the touted cameos by still-the-guv Arnold Schwarzenegger and still-smirking Bruce Willis? One chuckle, a ho and a hum, as CIA mucky-muck Willis offers the guv and Stallone the chance to make big bucks on an easy final mission: Go to a small South American country and assassinate the dictator. (It's good for America.)
Schwarzenegger says no thanks, you can handle it, Sly ol' buddy, and walks out of the movie. (No one ever called him dumb.) That's about it for Willis, too.The idea of so many action stars in one film carries a lot of appeal; it's like an animated People magazine spread. But they can't overcome the "Expendables'" biggest problem: The movie isn't fun. (OK, the Austin-Couture battle is pretty good.)
I like the action genre, thoroughly enjoyed "Salt," and anticipated the gunfights, slugfests and explosions, the preposterous plot and elaborate stunts (impressive) and effects (some terrific). The waterboarding -- Stallone keeping current, I guess -- was a surprise, but not as big a one as the movie's dryness.
Stallone and Schwarzenegger -- think of the weight those words carry -- do a little nudge-nudge, wink-wink about the old days; Li says some lines about how he deserves a bigger cut as he has to work three times as hard as the rest, because he's small and they're tall; and Statham takes good-natured needling about being dumped by his girlfriend (Charisma Carpenter, all grown up from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer").
Together, that totals maybe 15 minutes. Which leaves a lot of time in South America for Roberts to threaten the easily threatened dictator (David Dayas) and for the earnest Stallone to rethink his existence.
In what may be a sign of personal growth, Stallone's Barney meets a sexy committed rebel (Giselle Itie), realizes the assassination setup isn't what he'd been led to believe, and tells his crew, "She stands for something. We don't stand for nothing. We used to."
Poor Dolph.
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